No, not the Miles Franklin, the answers to my survey about what people read while using the toilet. The unedited graphs are below. As to what people read when they have gastro, you’re all very funny: ‘The book of Job’; ‘Any News Ltd publication. I already have the shits and feel physically ill, so I have nothing to lose’. I’ll be writing an article based on your fascinating insights over the next week or so. And if you still want to do the survey, it’s here.